Insanity: One Way Ticket Out of Reality?

I just watched Silver Linings Playbook, starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. While this isn't a review on the movie, it was a very sweet, emotional, chaotic movie and well worth the $7.50 a ticket to see it.

In the movie, Cooper plays a man that has just gotten out of 8 months rehab, and follows him as he tries to better himself while attempting to do whatever it takes to win her wife's trust and heart back, despite the restraining order she has against him. Oddly enough, he instead falls in love with Lawrence,  who plays a formerly-slutty and now widowed young woman much like himself, and the two work together to perform in a dance tournament for the climax of the movie.

The thing that always gets me with movies like this, is the part where you see the character living in a psychiatric facility. Girl, Interrupted, It's A Funny Kind of Story, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and other movies involving mental hospitals, both intrigue and frighten me. They portray a very small part of what it's really like being institutionalized in a mental facility, and although I've never been in one, I often wonder how much it takes to actually be put into one.

Does it help? Are the people inducted into the hospitals truly insane? How do you know you need to be put in one? Or does someone else decide that for you?

Often times, throughout the day, while doing my rather mundane chores life hands me, I always have this sinking feeling that I'm somehow just waiting for the moment to break. Completely apart. To lose it in the most flourished, crazed way. To scream at the top of my lungs and cry and throw things and break plates and glasses and walls. To let myself be completely unhinged.

But do you know why I let myself just keep waiting for the perfect moment?

Because I think if I ever did truly break down,  it would be a long and very hard process for me to truly get back to reality. I wouldn't want to leave. The stress of my former life would will me into continuing into insanity, and I'd be constantly lying to myself if I didn't believe it. I'd be stuck there, until I got sick of it, and then somehow I fear it'd be too late. I'd have no sense of who I am; I would never want to look in the mirror. I'd be some crazy cat owning lady that rides the subway everyday and talks to herself. I would be insane forever, if I were to break apart to my very inner core.

There was only one time that I can remember where I feel like I almost reached that point. And it took me two years to get past even that. I don't know if you truly ever heal from it; or if it just stays like a quiet shadow with you for the rest of your life. Is it a ticking time bomb able to reset again and again? Or it is a one way train ticket?

The thing that's so ironic about life is we are expected to be good, upright, sane citizens that are selfless and motivated, loyal, trustworthy, and loving. At least that's the general idea. Most people have hard childhoods and get the tough end of the deal, but me, despite my circumstances that branched out over most of my early childhood and teenage years, I have no true reason to let myself be anything but sane and stable. I could have a thousand things go wrong in my life, and while it would be nearly impossible to cope with it, what we make of a situation is entirely up to us. Not because of our parents, or what someone did or said to us, it is our choice alone to decide whether or not to let fate destroy our lives. Those that are selfless are looked up to, and yet we are taught from the first day we are put in this planet, to be selfish. We cry when we want something. We get angry when things don't work out. We lose hope, we expect the impossible, we hate responsibility no matter what the rewards are, we would prefer to be lazy, and eat what we want and do what we want, and never be told what we should or should not do. Deep down, no matter how good of a person you think you are, we are bad. Some have that potential more than others, others try to never display it, some spend half their lives living in it, and the other half trying to repair and rebuild.

So if we, being little selfish humans constantly striving for perfection (or having given up on that notion), are somehow expected to endure everything life gives us, and to somehow break free from the adversity and trials that never stop, how on earth can we be expected to remain completely in reality at all times? Is there ever an escape?

I haven't quite figured that out yet. Maybe one day I will, or maybe I will never.

I guess I'm just waiting for the right moment.

How They Fry Chicken

Working in a deli at a downtown grocery mart is quite an interesting job at times. Most days I feel like a hamster running back and forth with no real purpose in life (i.e. "I have to slice four more pounds of turkey ham again?!"), other times I meet so many new people, and learn new things, and it's generally a good day. Except when I almost slice my finger off and it gushes blood like it thinks it's the newest Niagara Falls. Eh, that I could definitely live without.


The one thing I've noticed over the course of working here, is how different the fried chicken we sell turns out after each person has "dropped" it in the fryers, as we call it.

I then started to theorize and over think it, as always, and decided to put it down on paper.

With my various co workers, [names changed] some have tough exteriors and others you can tell have the softest hearts. Learning from them and getting to know what goes on in their lives is really an amazing thing. Meeting new people, especially the ones you work with, can be eye opening on just how unique each and every one of us are. While it sounds completely lame, the more I noticed how the chicken turned out, the more I noticed how on point it was to each of the cooks.

Sammy, the head cook is a sweet lady with a wild side. She's a bar tender when she isn't working at the deli, and I can imagine her kicking out a few people for not taking any bullcrap. She'll be cracking hilarious jokes behind the counter making it hard for the rest of us to keep face. When she fries chicken, it comes out looking like classic KFC chicken: She's all about being feisty  getting her work done, and making sure everyone is happy. So with her fried chicken, there has never once been a complaint.

Bonnie, the assistant cook, is this tiny short skinny lady that always looks forward to lunch to see the "Marlboro Man." (a smoke break) At first glance, she's distant and cold at times, but deep down she's a Woo-girl at heart. (Meaning every time she accomplishes something, we say, "Woohoooo!" really loud.) I help her lift heavy things and stuff on high shelves, and she's generally a nice lady. Her chicken is nearly perfect, except for the random bare patches with no breading. Sort of like her: you see what she allows you to see of her, but occasionally lets down her walls and you can see the real Bonnie, outside of the deli.

Arty, the sandwich maker, will sometime throw a batch together when we need it. She's an older lady with short hair and her presence is all about business. She was intimidating at first when I met her, but now she'll giggle at my side jokes and is usually in an all around good mood. Her batches come out very neat and thorough looking, much like her.

Tara, my fellow night shift deli girl, is an extremely energetic and sassy sort of young lady. Closest in age, we usually have a lot of fun working together. Her chicken comes out messy, but it's only because she is usually busy doing most of the dishes and night cleaning, which I am always grateful for. So if her chicken isn't perfect, the rest of the deli usually is.

Now I realize this is an entirely odd blog post, but it made sense to me while I was thinking about it, coincidentally while frying chicken.

What does my fried chicken look like when it comes out, you ask?

Absolutely stunning. But it soon falls apart and I'll never understand why I'm the only person that fries chicken so beautiful only to have the skin slink off later. Not sure what that says about me, though.

All around, I love working this job. It's exhausting and I'm constantly running somewhere and my back, feet, legs, thumbs, and arms all ache when I get off, but it's satisfying work that I think is a great learning experience.

Deli tip: Always ask to have your deli selections sliced for you. While we put in a lot of work to make the case look fluffy and nice, I'd never eat out of it unless it was fresh.

Ciao,

Benghazi: What Went Down (as far as we can tell)

   The American people deserve the truth about Benghazi and the events following the terrorist attack.
(A timeline of events was published here for those who didn't read the whole story.)
The current Administration's drones flew over the attack that happened on September 11th in Libya. They saw it. They watched it. Then lied about it. Proper action and justice was not served.

   Why did the President choose to do nothing? What motive is behind this? Why ignore a threat that caused American lives in Libya to be lost?

The CIA operatives were repeatedly denied requests for help as stated in this Fox News article update:

"Former Navy SEAL Tyrone Woods was part of a small team who was at the CIA annex about a mile from the U.S. consulate where Ambassador Chris Stevens and his team came under attack...shots [were] fired.... they informed their higher-ups at the annex to tell them what they were hearing and requested permission to go to the consulate and help out. They were told to "stand down,"....Soon after, they were again told to "stand down." Woods and at least two others ignored those orders and made their way to the consulate which at that point was on fire. Shots were exchanged. The rescue team from the CIA annex evacuated those who remained at the consulate and Sean Smith, who had been killed in the initial attack. They could not find the ambassador and returned to the CIA annex at about midnight. At that point, they called again for military support and help because they were taking fire at the CIA safe house, or annex. The request was [deliberately] denied."

Greta Van Susteren tweeted a note on the story, a clarification from FNC's Justin Fishnel: 

"NOTE in Benghazi story: the denial of the request from help went via the CIA chain of command, not military (Pentagon)."

But there were military drones that were watching the entire event take place, minute for minute.

Meanwhile Obama is in the states preparing for another day of campaigning, ignoring the fact that lives were lost over something that could have been completely prevented in the first place. He showed no remorse whatsoever when dealing with Tyrone Woods' family after the attack. He claimed it was all from a video not a Sharia activist group. So we ask ourselves how this will affect the Presidential race looming towards us in less than 12 days.  Was this a fluke in the higher up system of getting the information out to the right sources? In order to prevent Obama from looking bad for being too busy with his own campaign to order the rescue of the Americans in Benghazi, is there any way to justify the way this was handled? 
It seems like this was purposely ignored while the Administration spent the latter weeks telling the public it was caused because of an anti-Muslim video. Which is not true. And even when the news of the attack hit the states, "...former President Bill Clinton has been “urging” his wife to release official State Department documents that prove she called for additional security at the compound in Libya, which would almost certainly result in President Obama losing the election." (source)


As one blogger of vintage-parade said:  

"I don’t care what party affiliation you are.... But you have to understand this. Our President watched four Americans get killed, and did absolutely nothing to help. We had American forces less than an hour away in Sicily, and Obama did nothing. He knew it was a terrorist attack....days later, Jay Carney (the Press Secretary) and Susan Rice (UN Ambassador)...said it was caused because of the video [the alleged anti-Muslim video which you can read about here]." 

Contrary to the video being the reason behind this, the American Spectator warns:

"The "initial information" (to use Jay Carney's words) pouring into the State Department -- which was then handed on to the White House itself -- had no mention whatsoever of an Internet video and a quite specific reference to the Al-Qaeda terrorist group Ansar al-Sharia.
....
According to Mohammad Ali al-Zahawi, the self-styled "Commander of Ansar al-Sharia" his group -- admirers of Al-Qaeda -- is all about doing "battle with the liberals, the secularists and the remnants of Gaddafi." The terms "liberals" and "secularists" of course mean Americans and Westerners."

   So not only was the Obama administration denying the fact that the Benghazi attacks were caused by an Al-Qaeda extremist group and saying instead it was from an Internet video, Obama stood before Americans in press conferences, in debates, and was quoted that told us false speculation that the attack had nothing to do with very same ideology that promotes Granny Sarah's "fashion simpatico with a totalitarian ideology" that the media has so carefully avoiding saying much about. 

Nixon lied to the public, but no lives were lost.

Clinton lied about his affair, but no one died.

But Obama lied, and now 4 people have died.

   In the words of Jeffrey Lord, "Who killed Ambassador Chris Stevens? Sharia killed Ambassador Chris Stevens." And Obama did nothing to stop it. Why is the media not completely torn up about this? Why is no one rising up and calling for a trial for treason, impeachment, for justice?

   Clinton stupidly told the Woods family after losing their son that they would find and prosecute the makers of the video. What utter lies! Even if that was the reason, which we know it's not, that would conflict with the freedom of speech in the first place.

   Now would be the right time to re-think your decision on re-electing Obama and facing up to the fact that we don't belong to the government. The government belongs to us. The American public deserves to know the truth and Obama has done everything except give us just that.

   America, you have been warned.

 
For the pursuit of truth,

The Future of The War in Afghanistan: It's Decision Time

March 14^th, 2012

By June, the war going on in Afghanistan will have lasted 128 months. That’s almost 2 years longer than the Vietnam War, which ended after 103 months of fighting in 1973. At first, the focus of Operation Enduring Freedom was to retaliate against al-Qaeda for the attacks made against the United States on September 11th. On October 7th, 2001, thousands of soldiers set out to dismantle the Taliban terrorist group and prevent it from using Afghanistan as a home base.

Today, our country seems split on whether or not the War on Terror is indeed a fight still needed to be fought. After 11 years of conflict, many are asking themselves what is the purpose of this?

With the tragic shooting of 17 civilians by an un-named American soldier in Afghanistan, the world is shocked, and unforgiving. As much as the incident is horrific, what the American soldier did is one isolated event, and it pales in contrast by the many well-planned terrorist attacks on America, Afghanistan and the world. Regardless, the public is asking for answers, seeking a reason for this ongoing conflict in the Middle East.

The information given to the public is often biased, leaving out key points and reasons behind the events we hear about on a monthly, if not weekly basis, in lieu of the sensationalized stories that spark uproar from the public. With the Quran burnings by NATO troops that happened in February, many don’t realize the full story behind these events. The Qurans belonged to Taliban prisoners who were writing in the sacred texts, secretly passing them back in forth to each other. Upon marring them, the copies then became defaced. The NATO troops burned the texts knowing that marking and writing in the Koran was blasphemous. There are always two sides to every story. The public deserves both, rather than a story willing to play up the Afghan outrage, and thus make our very own troops look bad.

In all accounts, the Afghanistan war has not been easy. With almost 1900 military casualties to date, those frequently caused by non-combat accidents or maneuvers, the cost of war is apparent. In comparison, the Iraq war which overlapped the Afghan fight has had almost 5,000 casualties resulting in the successful overthrow of Saddam Hussein’s rule. The costs are small by comparison to wars in the past, such as Vietnam, but devastating to the families of the loved ones who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Those who gave their lives to protect freedom will always be known to us as heroes and must never be forgotten, which only gives us more reason to make sure they did in any way, die in vain. We can't ignore the growing confusion and unrest that many Americans are facing as the Presidential election approaches in November. Republicans continue to criticize the President, demanding clear answers on what he plans to do in the less than 300 days of office Obama still has to serve.

The main thing to realize is we aren't just spinning in circles over there, in a never-ending battle. We have actually accomplished a lot of what we originally set out to do. In his speech at West Point in 2009, President Obama stated that, “the core of U.S. goals in Afghanistan: to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat al-Qaeda and its safe havens in Pakistan, and to prevent their return to Afghanistan.” The reason for this was to show that the United States was very much involved in pursuing justice for the innocent lives lost in the attacks of 9/11 and even more so those who have been lost due to fighting this War on Terror. According to the Project on Defense Alternatives, “The Taliban have been driven from power in Afghanistan, fragmented as a political force, and widely discredited as an ideological movement…[and] Al Qaeda infrastructure and operations in Afghanistan have been destroyed, a substantial proportion of their core cadre have been [abolished], and their capacity to act globally has been disrupted significantly -- although perhaps only temporarily.” The key point is not just seeking justice for the lost lives, as much as that is the main reason many who have joined to serve in the recent years, but it’s also about preventing any other attacks against innocent citizens not just in the US, but in the world.

It’s absolutely critical that the extremists willing to attack the United States are dismantled. The UN did a study and found out that nearly 76% of the civilian casualties in Afghanistan were made by the Taliban, and not foreign militia such as US troops. The Standard Weekly wisely pointed out, “…media outlets focus an enormous amount of energy on reporting the relatively few accidental deaths caused by Coalition forces, but put little emphasis on the deliberate murders inflicted on the Afghan people by the Taliban.” The military men and women, fighting right now, to protect freedom are not doing it for recognition but rather because they believe the Taliban and al-Qaeda must be stopped. And even though it seems like this war has dragged on forever, the costs have remained minimal at best in comparison to the almost 60,000 lives lost in Vietnam. The lives given in effort to stopping the spreading threat of al-Qaeda terrorists had produced a sense of security for not just those back home, but a glimmer of hope for the Afghan people, despite recent events. We mustn’t take for granted the sacrifices made in this almost 12 year war. But now it’s decision time. How much longer will foreign troops be deployed in Afghanistan? When former US Defense Secretary Robert Gates was asked this, he said it was “unpredictable” and “perhaps a few years.”

What the public wants is a solid timetable of withdrawal. But what most speculators don’t realize is a slow transition, not a complete pull out, will benefit us all the most. Leaving suddenly could only jeopardize the mission. Setting a solid timetable, available to the public, is dangerous. It gives the opposition a timetable as well, on us. In light of the current news stories splashed across the world, it comes down to this: Afghanistan must decide if they still wish to seek US help in overcoming the Taliban and al-Qaeda, or letting us pull out in a orderly, sequential manner.

Humbly,

P.S. I highly encourage reading from the included links marked in the text of this article. Thank you.

copyright Elizabeth Hottenstein, 2012.

How to Survive in College

College is definitely a lot different than you expect. Whether you're working towards your degree at a community college, a university, or online, there are lots of ways you can be a success and achieve what you want. This semester, I learned some valuable things and I'd like to share my tips on how to survive the ever-present impending social expectations in college-form for us young
people...

Tip #1: Stop the media.

It's real easy to get distracted, especially when you're studying an oh-so-boring topic for your next exam. But tuning out the distractions will help you hone your studying skills. Concentration is key. Turn OFF your cell phone. Shut down your laptop. Put some peaceful music in the background, hop on your bed with a glass of something cold, and get down to it. The sooner you tackle your day's worth of reading, the better you'll understand the material you will be later tested on.

Tip #2: Learn to be a scribe.

Scribes, unless they were meant to, never wrote down everything single thing. If you did, you'd just be writing your own personally scribbled copy of your textbook and that's useless. Notes are essential to learning and applying the text you just read, so write down the important parts. What are the important parts? Phrases, things repeated, words in bold, definitions, and anything else that your teacher has hinted will be needed later on.

Tip #3: Learn to say, "Later, man."

Sure, you can't always relive a party. But will that party matter ten years from now? Probably not. This is probably the most hardest thing to say no to, but learning to skip out of parties or dinners or events to study doesn't make you a nerd, it makes you learn. Then, once you've finished your work, then you can better enjoy your time with friends, knowing you've accomplished your homework and are treating yourself for being a better student than most!

Regardless of how well your grades were, there are ways you can improve next semester. There's hope, a little light at the end of the tunnel. Now that finals are over, it's time to turn over a new leaf.

Good luck,

Week 25: Learn Not to Burn

One, two, skip a few... and BAM! here we are at the end of week 25 (I actually just guessed...). I'm missing like 5 or so articles, but I have an excuse. I was working on a piece for my new writing freelance job, and it got published!

If you're curious and want to read it, check it out here.

With the summer almost ending, classes starting, and increased work hours, one can easily become discouraged how much energy is sucked out of you on a daily basis. According to the American Psychological Association's 2007 survey of the US, half of Americans say they can't sleep at night due to stress. 30% of Americans also feel like they live under extreme stress on a daily basis. Why so uptight?

The principle is simple: Americans need to learn to slow down, de-stress, and learn to say "no" to over committing and "yes" to taking a little time out of their busy schedules to repair themselves.

Everyone knows if you use your car, and never put anything in it, never do anything to the interior, or the exterior, or take care of it that thing is going to be one sorry piece of junk that won't be going anywhere. So if we take good care of our cars (well, the smart ones among us that is; or else you already have a junker and don't care...still, the poor thing could use some TLC), why don't humans stop and refill up our energy stores alot more often than once or twice a week? A solution de-stressing from a busy schedule is not saying no to everything except doing what it takes to pay the bills. It's the concept of not over committing yourself. Cutting back on unneeded areas in your life that just add more baggage or dead weight. And learning the use of time management is a very necessary tool.

 

#1 = Start with one hour.

If you have a crammed life, start with just one hour a week. If you think you can manage an hour a day, good. In that hour, pick up a magazine, pour yourself a glass of something cold, and sit down. Yes, please take a seat. See how long you can stay that way within the hour without answering the door, the phone, your recent Facebook notifications (Farmville can seriously wait, I promise), or even the dog. (Unless it's peeing somewhere...) What you are attempting to do right then is called something very weird but wonderful--it's called relaxing. As strange a concept as it seems, simply sitting down and breathing is actually really healthy for you. No TV though. TV can actually raise your blood pressure. (Probably from shows like NCIS or Monk which always keep me on the edge of my seat until I almost fall off.)

Grab your favorite piece of writing, (I would highly suggest "Unfashionable" by Tullian Tchividjian, this month's Lucky magazine, or even a cookbook like Culinaria France...), sip your drink, play some music in the background and repeat this at least three times a week. You'll find yourself not only looking forward to your hour of "me time" and also find yourself de-stressing a fraction more and more every time.

 

#2 = Learn to say, "No, thanks."

Everything may seem like a good idea, but you're not Superman. So don't "super commit" to even recreational activities. Keep your schedule basic. If you work long hours, don't plan on long nights out or elaborate plans. Even if you feel like time is crucial to keeping your social life interesting, keeping your body going is alot more important. Physical fatigue isn't the only symptom from "stressing too hard." Mental fatigue, which drains you much more than physical, is very demanding on your brain, your body, and your mind. As long as you keep in mind that you can say "no" to friends and still be friends, (unless they are completely lame), you will definitely thank yourself later when you're feet and head are throbbing after work or class.

 

#3 = Find something that's satisfying.

 

Americans are restless. We flit like butterflies from place to event to home to games to hobbies in a heartbeat, not realizing it only fuels our impatient fast-paced lifestyle habits all the more. Whatever happened to that relaxation thing I mentioned? Find something simple that you like doing, (such as a simple hobby or exercise) and try your hardest to practice it twice a week. With your "me hours" and your "satisfaction times", you'll need to sift out somethings your life doesn't need. Even if it's volunteer work or going to every single church event (yes, that's admirable but one must be realistic) or volunteering to take another shift when your body is already screaming no, you must let it go. Learn to say no, take some time for yourself, and do something you enjoy.

Life is a beautiful thing. As long as we don't let the clock rule our lives (to a certain extent), it can always stay that way, even through the ups and downs.

For more ideas on how to de-stress, check out these websites I found for reference:

• Simple Yoga Poses
• How to Relax

For you,

Week 13: Fortune Cookie Scriptures

5 fortune cookie fortunes. 5 or so comparative Scriptures. 
Let's see what we find...

Fortune #1: "Trust your intuition."

From a biblical standpoint, we can't trust our "natural" intuition to always line up with what God says. According to 1 Corinthians 2:11, which states:

"For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."

Any God-given understanding is true wisdom. Trusting God's will to direct our lives is the only true intuition we should follow. But you gotta be careful, sometimes that creepy little voice in your head may sound like its right...but you could be having the (cough) privilege of hearing from the Dark Side (no pun intended). Just match up your thoughts to the Bible and you'll find out the true answer to your questions.

Fortune #2: "Take the advice of a faithful friend."

I got this one while I was munching my way through a box of fortune cookies I had bought at the grocery story while watching Nikita. The verse that popped into my head as soon as I got this one was,

"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." Proverbs 27:17 (NLT).

If you have a "two way street" relationship with a friend, then you can both help, encourage, and strengthen each other. Think opposite of jello. Don't be afraid to speak the truth in love. It's kind of like a metal file...it's irritating for a while, but it slowly smooths out your rough edges if you respond to your friend's Godly advice correctly. No one likes a person that goes around agreeing with every darn thing you say. It's like talking to a parrot or something. Someone who is actively involved in your life and truly cares about your well being is by far a true friend.

Fortune #3: "You will always be prepared for the future, but never forget what you've learned from the past."

If you're smart, you learn from the mistakes you've made in the past. If you're stupid, you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over without learning the reason why you fall for them or why you find yourself repeatedly doing them. Forgetting the pain of the past, but taking it's life lessons with you towards your future is the wise choice. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
If that isn't a clear message of hope for the future, I don't know what else is!

Fortune #4: "A good evening is one spent with good company."

I'm going to stick my foot in my mouth with this one but it really ought to be said...

Check out these verses:

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

Proverbs 27:15-16 (New Living Translation)

It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.

Proverbs 21:19 (New Living Translation)

Those are some pretty strong analogies, ladies. A nagging, nit-picky, whiny woman is a very repulsive thing. So take it from one of your own kind, a good evening is one spent without the whiny woman. Wipe that gripe off and get happy!  *tries to dodge getting shot*

Fortune #5: "Failure is the Mother of Success."

Nobody truly enjoys failing. If you do, you might want to check yourself into the funny farm. Those who pick themselves back up after failing and press towards their goal are the ones that achieve success. In Proverbs 24:10, it says: "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" which is true. But David in the Psalms encourages: "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26  Only God can truly give you the strength you need to succeed in this world.
So who says you can't be the best person you can be? If you trust God, and keep going even when the times get tough, that my friend is the path to true success.

If you enjoy getting fortune cookies and reading the fortunes (and crunching on that weird yellow cookie material and regularly making a mess of the table like I do), trying cracking the binding of your Bible and tuning  into Proverbs. I basically think of Proverbs as the Fortune Cookie Scriptures. Little bits of wisdom in easy, two line verses. Solomon, the wise guy (haha I mean wise man) that wrote these verses, should have started his own fortune cookie company because the advice God gave him to write down is way better than some of the lame cookie fortunes I've gotten (for example, "Photographic memory! Remember to put film. Or is it digital?!" was the lamest so far)
Personally, Proverbs 14-21 are my favorites. I have them all underlined and marked up in my tiny purple Bible by my bed. I dare you to read them and see for yourself!


For you,

{TSSN} Week 2: Hold the Hail, please.

So, after pore strips, I was ready to conquer something more. Everyone knows less sugar in your life, the better it is for you. Er...right.

I suffer from migraines, so I figured it might prove healthy to try being off sugar for one week and see how it felt.

HA HA FAIL.

Before the week started, on Sunday, I made a big batch of peanut butter brownies (I ate 4...) and drank lots of raspberry lemonade. (The raspberry was actually coffee syrup, which proved to be...rather eccentric in lemonade). I figured if I was going off sugar I might as well LIVE IT UP! Which only resulted in a headache that night and regrets about that fourth brownie. Darn.

Monday, I woke up refreshed (strangely) and ready to tackle my work schedule. Needless to say, the day went horribly... sugar-wise. I succumbed to two more brownies, some leftover lemonade and, horror of horrors, I found a twizzler to devour. Insert tears and another headache and I flunked the first day off sugar. >.<

Tuesday was definitely a better day. But only because I skipped breakfast and just had green tea with my Japanese cuisine for lunch. I managed to only put one packet in the two cups of tea I drank. A feat since green tea is of course, rather bitter. Wednesday I tried oatmeal without brown sugar, and drank lots of water and ate sugar-free jello. Thursday told me that the jello wasn't sugar free and I got a headache, and today, Friday, was strangely uneventful. I still had a headache, but I figured it was from my awesome sparkly silver headband.

Experience: No sugar for....6-ish days.

Lesson Learned: If there's one thing I've learned, it's....AH, FORGET IT. Considering the fact I'm already completely off all--and any--forms of dairy and shellfish, adding sugar on top of that was literally wayyyy too much.

Conclusion: I resolve to work on downsizing my sugar intake; but not completely eliminating it. Otherwise, I'll just be eating carrots, whole bread, and water for the rest of my life.


For you,

Dirty Roses

   Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated with special evenings out, boxes of delicious chocolates and bouquets of seductively sweet roses. But people rarely realize that our romanticized day of love isn't as untainted as it seems. 

   I've tried, I really have, but I can't seem to completely stop buying things at Wal-Mart. I mean, for crying out loud, sometimes they are the only people who sell an item I need without paying an arm and a leg for it. I don't shop there exclusively, but I do find myself visiting our local Wal-Mart frequently even though I hate it. Some people have tried boycotting Wal-Mart because of their policies for supporting gay rights in recent years. Personally, after shopping last Thursday at my local Wal-Mart, the gay rights issue seemed really small...when you compared it to a $2.50 single cut rose.

   My friend and I were in Wal-Mart last week when I happened to see several boxes of single roses (ironic, really) for sale, displayed right out in the center aisle, tempting you with their cheap price tags. Selecting a cream rose with pink tipped petals, I stuck it under my arm to carry and finished my shopping. After purchasing the rose, throwing the bag in my car, we set off to do other things. Normal scenario, right? Wrong. When I got home, I stuck the rose in a vase, hid it in my closet to give to my sister for her birthday later, and checked my email. I get a daily "dose of good" by the Good people, a subscription for a website that reports "good" or interesting news and I subscribed to their feed. Surprisingly, I received an article from them talking about violent labor abuse in the flower industry in Ecuador and Colombia. Interested, I clicked on the link and read the article. Immediately, my journalist’s curiosity got the best of me, and I started researching. I glanced at the rose I bought, and the tag said it was from Ecuador. Somehow, I knew, this rose had a story to tell.

  Ecuador is one of the largest exporters of flowers. Mainly, hothouse roses are distributed to larger nations like the US during holidays or to mass retailers like Wal-Mart. 84.5% of school age children in Ecuador work jobs in the flower industry. Some children work in exchange for a lunch and their shifts can be several hours long. The safety and health conditions of the flower factories are deficient, causing more risk for health problems in the young workers. It is estimated that 80% of the flower industry work force consists of minors, largely being younger than 18 years of age. In a report on the conditions of child labor in Ecuador by the UN, "Ecuadorian legislation states that fifteen years old is the legal age for a teenager to start working for a maximum of six hours a day ...but this is far from the reality of the labor market." 

   The fact that there are thousands of kids working these dangerous jobs is disturbing as it is. But it's also very disturbing that many of the young female workers are being sexually exploited as well. Forced prostitution is a serious problem in Ecuador. The government is trying to crack down on factories and industry tycoons to eliminate forced prostitution and improve working conditions but Ecuador's shattered economy is what is forcing the minors to work...just to stay alive. A report analysis by International Confederation of Free Trade Unions stated that, 
 “Child labor is widespread in Ecuador, with estimates of half of the children between 10 and 17 being employed. Many of the children work in agriculture, including for exports, whereas many others are involved in domestic work, work in family businesses and in commercial

activities such as vending. The worst forms of child labor are also prevalent including begging

and child prostitution.”

   So, when I looked at the rose I bought, something stirred inside me. Flowers are one of the most beautiful things on earth; they are like little rays of sunshine given to people to signify affection and love. And yet here they are being grown and cut by little kids not much older than my younger brother and sold in a Wal-Mart, the very image of how little we realize, as Americans, that we are so fortunate to live as prosperously as we do. But my question is how unsighted has America become? So blind that we don't even care where our products come from or how they got there, but just that they have the cheap enough price for us? Are we sacrificing frugality over ethics? I will never look at hothouse flowers the same, ever again. True, this doesn’t just happen with flowers. Even the clothes on my back could have been made in a sweatshop; but flowers? Ross Wehner of the Organic Consumers Association wrote, “Although the symbol of romance for Valentine's Day is the rose, Ecuadorans say it is their source of misery and illness. Behind the beauty of the estimated 110 million roses that Americans will give their loved ones [are] flower workers who suffer serious health problems from pesticide poisoning, according to local doctors and the United Nations.”

   The very symbol of beauty and affection propagated by such pitiful—and often devastating—means is something too heartbreaking to ignore. I literally lost sleep after finding out about Ecuador’s flower industry. But all I can do is save the rose’s petals as a reminder that sometimes the cheapest bargain may not be the best bargain. To hold that rose, and know that some little enslaved kid held it, even just for a moment, really changes your worldview. I hope this article has touched you in some way, because even though I’ve tried, words cannot amply describe my grief for buying that rose, and the very high possibility of it coming from a factory with thousands of impoverished children working there. I can’t explain why the rose made my heart saddened. I can only tell others the roses’ heartrending origins.  

To avoid this problem in the future, look for flowers that are “fair-trade certified” such as One World Flowers, World Flowers, or the Inbloom Group.

If you would like to learn more about products sold around the world made by forced/child labor, I highly recommend visiting this website.

Always for you,

Some {Important} Things Guys Should Know About Girls

 {A big thank you goes out to all the ladies that helped contribute to this!}

Easy Read for Men: The important parts are in bold.

"Please?"

Everyone knows there's a big difference between waffles and spaghetti. And everyone knows the major differences between female and male humans. But just how big are we talking?

Thanks to some (female) friends, I've collected some heartfelt information directed towards our male acquaintances that could very well make guys better understand females, or not. Best of luck at trying to figure us out, bub! But seriously. Being completely ignorant of how women work will just lead to further pain and mortifying embarrassment. Well, not really, but you get the point.

So, let's get to it!

 " 'I don't wanna talk about it', means we do want to talk about it."

Ladies are complex creatures, obviously. Heck, I'm female and I will gladly tell y'all that first off! Everyone should know that females generally like to converse in words more than men do. So, when the girl says she doesn't want to continue talking about a certain issue, what she's really saying is, "Prove to me you care by getting me to open up. That shows me you care about my feelings, and that you want to help me."
But remember, don't push her, encourage her. And if she throws a book at you after you've asked several times if she wants to talk about it, let her cool down a bit before expressing your concern again. Remember, we're complex, but completely lovable. ;)

"When a female has a problem and tells you about it, she just wants you to listen to her and pray for her. She does not want you, the male, to express your opinion on how to fix the situation. She knows how to fix the situation. She just wants your sympathy, an open ear, and encouragement. Males skip the listening part a lot of times. They should learn to just listen."

This is also very true. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION HERE! Yes, getting her to open up by expressing an interest is very good but don't immediately jump into a "Problem Solving" mode. This just makes her feel less worthy, like the problem takes more importance than she does. It's like telling someone who's depressed to snap out of it, or telling a rape victim that oh, it happens to a lot of people. And yes, sometimes it is that serious to us more so-called "delicate" females.

"Guys should know it's kind of hard for us to know what's going on inside their heads/hearts if they don't say anything!"

luv ♥

It baffled me how each one of these things that our ladies expressed all went hand in hand. Guys, make the effort to not just get her to talk, and to listen, but to also share your own feelings, which is what a woman really needs. She needs acceptance, understanding, and more importantly love. And nothing says "I love you" more than risking your reputation/ego/pride/etc by opening your own heart to her. I think a big reason why people have communication problems is because men won't open up, and women assume things because of the lack of input. Make it your goal to listen and share, and it will help bridge the gender-gap that so many of us have a hard time understanding.

"My eyes are literally up here dude! I think all chicks hate it when that happens."

Visual. Yes, we know y'all are visual. But guys, c'mon. Man up and start respecting the ladies. Sometimes I just wanna smack some of you, because even though you were created for...well, sex, it's not that hard to make the effort to respect a woman. Look her in the eye. If you strive to be respected by the ladies, do the same for them. Be careful of her feelings, share your thoughts when she's talking seriously, admit it when you're wrong, and above all, love her. That doesn't mean just saying it, it means being it. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to prove you love her, you've already done that if she wants to be with you. You just have to be there for her. Show her that she means so much more than anything else in the world to you. It isn't weakness, it's love. 

Lastly, I would like to share something a dear friend of mine wrote:

Except her, love her, want her, exactly the way she is.

Girls are not all alike. Some see things from a completely different viewpoint than others and react in equally unique ways. For instance, I do not tend to know how to "fix" a certain situation; therefore, my goal in explaining it to someone else (male or female) may be seeking wisdom or suggestions from them. I don't always just want someone to listen to me, I tend to want some type of input. I agree that there are times when I really don't want anything other than encouragement and prayer. I think that's probably true for most people, including guys, but I wouldn't really know, would I? ;) 

Personally, I enjoy the opportunity to be the one who listens and know that a guy friend has enough trust/confidence in you that they want to talk you.

Also, speaking for myself and perhaps not all girls, I do not like classification. When a guy dismisses something that I say, merely because they feel that I, as a girl, don't understand, I am not amused. Not to say there aren't boundaries...because it's true, I won't understand certain things due to my gender. ["You didn't like that hopelessly romantic MOVIE?!?!??!? WHAT?!"] It's a FACT that women think almost entirely different than men. I suppose that's like guys and their egos, many girls have a certain amount of pride....pride that can be hurt. Even when it is said in fun or joking, most girls that I know do not like to hear themselves classified or (do I dare say it) stereotyped ; whether it's "blonde," "preppy," "know-it-all," "sensitive," etc etc. Granted, we shouldn't act in a way that would cause anyone to give us those labels, but sometimes we slip up, and it happens.

Last thing, again speaking mainly for myself, girls(this one, at least) have a very hard time "summing-up" or explaining anything in a small amount of words. Thus, we tend to be confusing/boring/ "wait, what? you were still talking... oh...." There are few things I appreciate more than for another individual (again, guy or girl) to actually take the time and consideration to everything that I said and give me input. Few things hurt more than to find out they really weren't listening or just pretended to be interested.

On the that note, guys stop being sarcastic. It's not appealing. Girls are hurt many times by unknowing males simply because they were sarcastic in conversation. Don't treat your girl friends like your guy friends. They deserve a much higher level of treatment. There is a place and time for sarcasm, but use it minimally. Trust me on this.

Well mon amies, that about sums it up. I have a feeling the "Some {Important} Things Girls Should Know About Guys" is going to be much shorter. ;) If any of you gentlemen read through this, it must be because you either like my blog way too much, or you're actually interested in being a better man when it comes to interacting with us conniving women. x]
Remember, the more you are actively involved in a woman's life, the more it requires you to love and respect her. And she then will respect you, because you respected her first.

For you,

How to Be Hot in the Winter: For Guys

As promised, here's Part Two of the Hot series....this time, for all your gents! C'mon, you know you want to read this and find out how to look your hottest and NOT freeze your butt off. I will assure you, even though I am female, I did make sure all of these suggestions were as manly as possible. ;)

Head ♦

Solid or patched, like above^

Okay, before you shoot me, hear me out completely. You can wear hats and not look like an idiot or a 8 year old. The hats that are truly in fashion are the cap-like plaid hats, which not only keep your head warm, but you also don't have to worry about your hair that day. Not that you would, but ehh, it makes dressing in the morning a lot quicker. So, even if you aren't Welsh or British, a plaid hat paired with a sexy leather jacket has a really "dapper" look to it (dapper, by the way, means classy). Only a man truly confident can rock a hat. And by definition, I'm talking about this kind of cap not those plaid baseball-style hats (plaid? Seriously? NO), or the engineer caps. (Those are for girls).

Hats to avoid are those gangster pin-striped hats and the Mad Bomber hats. They are way too overrated and actually make you look like a dork. And the bomber hats are for when you're skiing only. Just do not tie the flaps under your chin!
Also, just as a side note, beanies are cool. They really really mess up your hair, but for hunting, snowboarding, etc, they're a win-win. Plus, the ruffled hair makes you look cute. Just don't wear them inside, please. No one wants a reminder that it's 15 degrees outside.
Other things to avoid: Ear puffs, muffs, warmers, etc. Unless they are a sleek black "wrap around the back of the head" kind. Otherwise, ditch it.

Neck ♦

"Once-around" tied scarf

Scarf. Ah, a dreaded word. I don't know why though, because scarves aren't always as girly as most guys make them out to be. As long as you have the right make/kind of scarf and you know how to tie it properly, you are still quite a man. Scarves can keep your neck from the biting wind, and also add a snazzy element to your winter outfit. (Not that you would really care, but let's not go there).
First, what kind of scarf? Preferably, a thick cotton one is ideal. Sorry, no Grandma knits in blaring stripes. Ick. It should be a cream, black, slate gray or brown scarf of medium length and width (remember, the thinner the girlier, the thicker the manlier but within reason) and no gaudy fringe. Simplistic and sleek is best.
Next, you need to know that flopping one side of the scarf over your shoulder like a Peanuts character is not hot. Learn to tie it correctly and handsomely. The key is making you look hotter not weirder. Here's a link for two acceptably hot styles of scarf-tying. (With that link I only like the first two, the last two are too girly)
AND REMEMBER: It is not completely gay to wear a scarf. (No offense to anyone gay, of course) It keeps a part of you warmer, (by preventing chilly air from going down into your coat. Oo la la) and is essential for you looking like a sexy guy who has it all together. Think "different and daring" because that's what it is.


Hands/Feet ♦

Non-bulky & sleek

The one thing that guys can get away with is wearing thick warm gloves alot. For some reason, women have a hard time finding gloves that are both warm and cute. For guys, your choices are endless and alot easier. In fact, sometimes I wish I had the guts enough to wear guys' gloves, because they are so much better than their female counterparts! Stay away from leather gloves with "knit" side expanders, because they look dorky. A classic, sleek black glove is always hot. Mittens are a no-go, obviously. Stick with having at least two pairs of gloves; one acceptably hot to wear to a wedding or formal (sleeker the better), and one for keeping your doigts toasty (bulky or whatever you need to stay warm/get the job done). The glove should reach just beyond your wrist but not any longer. And make sure you're wearing gloves that fit your hands. Tight fingered gloves are gross. But floppy gloves don't do their job either. When you put on a glove, clench your fist. If there is too much pressure on the creases of your fingers, get larger gloves.

STOMP POWAH

Okay, feet. Boots in style for guys this winter season are military style commando snow boots, and logger boots. There should be no fur, fluff, or frizz on your boots. That's reserved for girls. Find me a furry boot that looks manly, and I'll take it back. But I haven't been convinced yet. And probably won't, ever.
Good traction is key, and a steel toe option also is good for added "toe security." Also, if it's snowing outside, don't wear Etnies okay? What if your car breaks down and you have to walk ten miles to the nearest gas station? Your ankles by the time you get there will be blue and frozen = totally not good. Finding a non-clompy boot for everyday stuff is essential. And don't forget to wear sweat-resistant socks like SmartWool socks inside your boots. You'll be glad you did. :)


Outfit Inspirations ♦
I'm not going to say alot for this, because mainly, this is wear my female-ness has to draw the line. I would like to just say something about coats/etc, though. The huge, bulky, pillow vests some guys wear are 1) not attractive and 2) they don't even keep you warm! If you wear it over a long sleeve and the armholes are as big as Kansas, how is that keeping the cold out? Ditch it, yo.

Coats. Leather ones are hot, but have them lined with flannel, down, etc. By themselves, leather isn't really that warm (even though it is pretty wind resistant), but do not bulk up on layers to compensate. A pea coat, military-style jacket, a trench coat, anything like that is more warmer.

So, there you go guys. :] Best of luck on staying warm and being "hot" this winter!
For you,

Aliens....Way Overboard

I seriously don’t think you can go through life without hearing something said about aliens....about a million times. TV and magazines—past and present—are plastered with movies and articles by thousands of people exploring aliens’ existence and theories containing just where and how we can find them.

Frankly, it’s quite ridiculous. Who really cares if they exist or not? We humans have enough problems on our hands that need to be addressed let alone wasting brain power and money trying to find “other life.” Scientists and small-town joes alike who spend their entire lives searching and contemplating if other life forms are “out there” really in the truest sense are missing the big picture.

Wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes, hurricanes, poverty, epidemics, Obama, recessions and depressions, car bombings, starvation, overzealous politicians, and heck, even small-town controversies are far more important than discovering some ice on a distant star or planet as evidence that we aren’t *gasp* alone. We need to start focusing on the here and now, and not if’s and could be’s of something else being out “there”.

Our media selections contain countless “encounters with the third kind” and even more books, papers, articles talking and discussing their existence it's enough to make you go crazy. No thanks to popular TV shows and movie series, the media’s probably convinced almost all Americans—and perhaps the world—that there is a possibility we aren’t alone.

Yep, we’re not. We have each other, and most times we can’t even get along. Heck, we’ve been around for how long and STILL can’t get a grip on peace?! Oy vey.

So how could an alien encounter help us any? News flash, it wouldn’t.

Personally, if everyone is so convinced they exist, why haven’t they come around earlier? Apparently, most people believe we’ve been around for millions of years, so wouldn’t in that past we at least once “see” the so called creatures from outer space? Hmmm, guess not.

For the record, it's not being snobbish or unfair if we say we just might be the only ones, it's completely practical.

Let’s get real, people. Forget the “might be out there” aliens and let’s tackle some close-to-home issues like jump starting our economies or getting our politicians to represent us correctly or feeding starving babies and leave those so-called green men to themselves.

For you,




P. S. Men in Black is the lamest, stupidest, more disgustingly cliche movie ever.
That's sorta...kinda...what sparked this. xD