How They Fry Chicken

Working in a deli at a downtown grocery mart is quite an interesting job at times. Most days I feel like a hamster running back and forth with no real purpose in life (i.e. "I have to slice four more pounds of turkey ham again?!"), other times I meet so many new people, and learn new things, and it's generally a good day. Except when I almost slice my finger off and it gushes blood like it thinks it's the newest Niagara Falls. Eh, that I could definitely live without.


The one thing I've noticed over the course of working here, is how different the fried chicken we sell turns out after each person has "dropped" it in the fryers, as we call it.

I then started to theorize and over think it, as always, and decided to put it down on paper.

With my various co workers, [names changed] some have tough exteriors and others you can tell have the softest hearts. Learning from them and getting to know what goes on in their lives is really an amazing thing. Meeting new people, especially the ones you work with, can be eye opening on just how unique each and every one of us are. While it sounds completely lame, the more I noticed how the chicken turned out, the more I noticed how on point it was to each of the cooks.

Sammy, the head cook is a sweet lady with a wild side. She's a bar tender when she isn't working at the deli, and I can imagine her kicking out a few people for not taking any bullcrap. She'll be cracking hilarious jokes behind the counter making it hard for the rest of us to keep face. When she fries chicken, it comes out looking like classic KFC chicken: She's all about being feisty  getting her work done, and making sure everyone is happy. So with her fried chicken, there has never once been a complaint.

Bonnie, the assistant cook, is this tiny short skinny lady that always looks forward to lunch to see the "Marlboro Man." (a smoke break) At first glance, she's distant and cold at times, but deep down she's a Woo-girl at heart. (Meaning every time she accomplishes something, we say, "Woohoooo!" really loud.) I help her lift heavy things and stuff on high shelves, and she's generally a nice lady. Her chicken is nearly perfect, except for the random bare patches with no breading. Sort of like her: you see what she allows you to see of her, but occasionally lets down her walls and you can see the real Bonnie, outside of the deli.

Arty, the sandwich maker, will sometime throw a batch together when we need it. She's an older lady with short hair and her presence is all about business. She was intimidating at first when I met her, but now she'll giggle at my side jokes and is usually in an all around good mood. Her batches come out very neat and thorough looking, much like her.

Tara, my fellow night shift deli girl, is an extremely energetic and sassy sort of young lady. Closest in age, we usually have a lot of fun working together. Her chicken comes out messy, but it's only because she is usually busy doing most of the dishes and night cleaning, which I am always grateful for. So if her chicken isn't perfect, the rest of the deli usually is.

Now I realize this is an entirely odd blog post, but it made sense to me while I was thinking about it, coincidentally while frying chicken.

What does my fried chicken look like when it comes out, you ask?

Absolutely stunning. But it soon falls apart and I'll never understand why I'm the only person that fries chicken so beautiful only to have the skin slink off later. Not sure what that says about me, though.

All around, I love working this job. It's exhausting and I'm constantly running somewhere and my back, feet, legs, thumbs, and arms all ache when I get off, but it's satisfying work that I think is a great learning experience.

Deli tip: Always ask to have your deli selections sliced for you. While we put in a lot of work to make the case look fluffy and nice, I'd never eat out of it unless it was fresh.

Ciao,

How to Survive in College

College is definitely a lot different than you expect. Whether you're working towards your degree at a community college, a university, or online, there are lots of ways you can be a success and achieve what you want. This semester, I learned some valuable things and I'd like to share my tips on how to survive the ever-present impending social expectations in college-form for us young
people...

Tip #1: Stop the media.

It's real easy to get distracted, especially when you're studying an oh-so-boring topic for your next exam. But tuning out the distractions will help you hone your studying skills. Concentration is key. Turn OFF your cell phone. Shut down your laptop. Put some peaceful music in the background, hop on your bed with a glass of something cold, and get down to it. The sooner you tackle your day's worth of reading, the better you'll understand the material you will be later tested on.

Tip #2: Learn to be a scribe.

Scribes, unless they were meant to, never wrote down everything single thing. If you did, you'd just be writing your own personally scribbled copy of your textbook and that's useless. Notes are essential to learning and applying the text you just read, so write down the important parts. What are the important parts? Phrases, things repeated, words in bold, definitions, and anything else that your teacher has hinted will be needed later on.

Tip #3: Learn to say, "Later, man."

Sure, you can't always relive a party. But will that party matter ten years from now? Probably not. This is probably the most hardest thing to say no to, but learning to skip out of parties or dinners or events to study doesn't make you a nerd, it makes you learn. Then, once you've finished your work, then you can better enjoy your time with friends, knowing you've accomplished your homework and are treating yourself for being a better student than most!

Regardless of how well your grades were, there are ways you can improve next semester. There's hope, a little light at the end of the tunnel. Now that finals are over, it's time to turn over a new leaf.

Good luck,

{TSSN} Week 10: How To Impress in 4 Steps or Less

I couldn't resist making a post with a rhyming title. It's kind of fun to be corny once in a while. Did I just rhyme again...?

To start, impressing people has to be done honestly. Impressing people has to be done skillfully. It does not mean being someone you are not, to gain false respect or admiration, at the risk of being found out. Which, in most cases, ends in disaster.
The key is finding the perfect balance between reality and gaining what you want. It's an art. It takes talent, a keen sense of one's audience, and confidence. A person who is impressive is different than a person who impresses. In this case, the former is what you should strive for. We interact with people on a daily basis; it's important to know how to gain favor with everyone you meet. Granted not everyone will love you, but you can at least try, right?



#1 - Engage all your senses.
Are you looking at people's eyes when they talk? Listening intently? Showing the right confidence in your body language? Dressing nicely? Are you walking confidently? Correct posture? Appearances, as much as they are overrated sometimes, are key to impressing people. Our eyes and ears tell us things about the people we interact with. Ever meet someone where it felt like when you were talking to them, you were the only person in the room? That sort of devotion to a conversation says that they are not only a gracious listener, but they are sincere and genuine. But you gotta relax, stay cool, be calm. Trying too hard can come across as creepy. If you have the "good appearances and engaging your senses" part done pat, you're halfway there.

#2 - Have the right motives.
Impressing people shouldn't be to stoke your ego, gain more friends to look good, or to make yourself climb a social ladder. You are who you are, with or without people's opinions or impressions of you. Stop trying so hard. Be yourself. If people don't like that, it's not your problem. Be courteous but genuine. Be aware of how people are responding to you. Dare to do things, to express opinions, to compliment, to care. The effort you put into it depends on your motives.

#3 - Talking and not just blabbing.
(This is where it gets tricky). Ever meet someone where they looked really nice, but as soon as they opened their mouth you really, really suddenly found the lint on their shoulder so much more interesting? Talking is an art too. Find a topic that interests the person or people you are talking to, and ask them about it. If it's something you also know about, brownie points! If not, learning something new and being impressed by their knowledge of a topic will in turn make them impressed by your listening skills. A conversation is both talking intelligently, and listening intently. And half acting like you know what they are talking about too, I will admit. Because honestly there's no way you can know everything. But just don't act like you know all about the rare ant disease the Russian entomologist you are talking with is referring to; you could get yourself into some deep water there. Be realistic, but charming.
Humor, even if it's not your strong point, is also a great way to lighten up a conversation and make people smile. Unless you are at a funeral, mild humor is never a let down.

#4 - Just be you.
Nobody can do it better. Everyone appreciates an honest, consistent, open person. Don't lose your cool in tense situations. Think positively about everyone. Work on having excellent manners. But most importantly, focus on being at ease with everyone. Even people who hate your guts. To put it quite plainly, if someone doesn't like you, it's not your fault. (Unless you are acting like a total jerk, then that's a different story). As long as you are confident, a good listener, and have a clean shirt, you're far above the social norm and well on your way to fame.


P.S. I'm not biting my nails, I drink protein shakes daily, I jog almost every day, and I'm happy. If that's not a form of success I don't know what is. I did realize this week though, that when you're happy, you tend to become a target. It's rather sad, because I wish everyone could be happy. It sounds naive and stupid, but it's true. Who doesn't like happiness? Ah well, I love being happy anyway. Don't you?

Yours Always,

{TSSN} Week 2: Hold the Hail, please.

So, after pore strips, I was ready to conquer something more. Everyone knows less sugar in your life, the better it is for you. Er...right.

I suffer from migraines, so I figured it might prove healthy to try being off sugar for one week and see how it felt.

HA HA FAIL.

Before the week started, on Sunday, I made a big batch of peanut butter brownies (I ate 4...) and drank lots of raspberry lemonade. (The raspberry was actually coffee syrup, which proved to be...rather eccentric in lemonade). I figured if I was going off sugar I might as well LIVE IT UP! Which only resulted in a headache that night and regrets about that fourth brownie. Darn.

Monday, I woke up refreshed (strangely) and ready to tackle my work schedule. Needless to say, the day went horribly... sugar-wise. I succumbed to two more brownies, some leftover lemonade and, horror of horrors, I found a twizzler to devour. Insert tears and another headache and I flunked the first day off sugar. >.<

Tuesday was definitely a better day. But only because I skipped breakfast and just had green tea with my Japanese cuisine for lunch. I managed to only put one packet in the two cups of tea I drank. A feat since green tea is of course, rather bitter. Wednesday I tried oatmeal without brown sugar, and drank lots of water and ate sugar-free jello. Thursday told me that the jello wasn't sugar free and I got a headache, and today, Friday, was strangely uneventful. I still had a headache, but I figured it was from my awesome sparkly silver headband.

Experience: No sugar for....6-ish days.

Lesson Learned: If there's one thing I've learned, it's....AH, FORGET IT. Considering the fact I'm already completely off all--and any--forms of dairy and shellfish, adding sugar on top of that was literally wayyyy too much.

Conclusion: I resolve to work on downsizing my sugar intake; but not completely eliminating it. Otherwise, I'll just be eating carrots, whole bread, and water for the rest of my life.


For you,

Some {Important} Things Guys Should Know About Girls

 {A big thank you goes out to all the ladies that helped contribute to this!}

Easy Read for Men: The important parts are in bold.

"Please?"

Everyone knows there's a big difference between waffles and spaghetti. And everyone knows the major differences between female and male humans. But just how big are we talking?

Thanks to some (female) friends, I've collected some heartfelt information directed towards our male acquaintances that could very well make guys better understand females, or not. Best of luck at trying to figure us out, bub! But seriously. Being completely ignorant of how women work will just lead to further pain and mortifying embarrassment. Well, not really, but you get the point.

So, let's get to it!

 " 'I don't wanna talk about it', means we do want to talk about it."

Ladies are complex creatures, obviously. Heck, I'm female and I will gladly tell y'all that first off! Everyone should know that females generally like to converse in words more than men do. So, when the girl says she doesn't want to continue talking about a certain issue, what she's really saying is, "Prove to me you care by getting me to open up. That shows me you care about my feelings, and that you want to help me."
But remember, don't push her, encourage her. And if she throws a book at you after you've asked several times if she wants to talk about it, let her cool down a bit before expressing your concern again. Remember, we're complex, but completely lovable. ;)

"When a female has a problem and tells you about it, she just wants you to listen to her and pray for her. She does not want you, the male, to express your opinion on how to fix the situation. She knows how to fix the situation. She just wants your sympathy, an open ear, and encouragement. Males skip the listening part a lot of times. They should learn to just listen."

This is also very true. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION HERE! Yes, getting her to open up by expressing an interest is very good but don't immediately jump into a "Problem Solving" mode. This just makes her feel less worthy, like the problem takes more importance than she does. It's like telling someone who's depressed to snap out of it, or telling a rape victim that oh, it happens to a lot of people. And yes, sometimes it is that serious to us more so-called "delicate" females.

"Guys should know it's kind of hard for us to know what's going on inside their heads/hearts if they don't say anything!"

luv ♥

It baffled me how each one of these things that our ladies expressed all went hand in hand. Guys, make the effort to not just get her to talk, and to listen, but to also share your own feelings, which is what a woman really needs. She needs acceptance, understanding, and more importantly love. And nothing says "I love you" more than risking your reputation/ego/pride/etc by opening your own heart to her. I think a big reason why people have communication problems is because men won't open up, and women assume things because of the lack of input. Make it your goal to listen and share, and it will help bridge the gender-gap that so many of us have a hard time understanding.

"My eyes are literally up here dude! I think all chicks hate it when that happens."

Visual. Yes, we know y'all are visual. But guys, c'mon. Man up and start respecting the ladies. Sometimes I just wanna smack some of you, because even though you were created for...well, sex, it's not that hard to make the effort to respect a woman. Look her in the eye. If you strive to be respected by the ladies, do the same for them. Be careful of her feelings, share your thoughts when she's talking seriously, admit it when you're wrong, and above all, love her. That doesn't mean just saying it, it means being it. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to prove you love her, you've already done that if she wants to be with you. You just have to be there for her. Show her that she means so much more than anything else in the world to you. It isn't weakness, it's love. 

Lastly, I would like to share something a dear friend of mine wrote:

Except her, love her, want her, exactly the way she is.

Girls are not all alike. Some see things from a completely different viewpoint than others and react in equally unique ways. For instance, I do not tend to know how to "fix" a certain situation; therefore, my goal in explaining it to someone else (male or female) may be seeking wisdom or suggestions from them. I don't always just want someone to listen to me, I tend to want some type of input. I agree that there are times when I really don't want anything other than encouragement and prayer. I think that's probably true for most people, including guys, but I wouldn't really know, would I? ;) 

Personally, I enjoy the opportunity to be the one who listens and know that a guy friend has enough trust/confidence in you that they want to talk you.

Also, speaking for myself and perhaps not all girls, I do not like classification. When a guy dismisses something that I say, merely because they feel that I, as a girl, don't understand, I am not amused. Not to say there aren't boundaries...because it's true, I won't understand certain things due to my gender. ["You didn't like that hopelessly romantic MOVIE?!?!??!? WHAT?!"] It's a FACT that women think almost entirely different than men. I suppose that's like guys and their egos, many girls have a certain amount of pride....pride that can be hurt. Even when it is said in fun or joking, most girls that I know do not like to hear themselves classified or (do I dare say it) stereotyped ; whether it's "blonde," "preppy," "know-it-all," "sensitive," etc etc. Granted, we shouldn't act in a way that would cause anyone to give us those labels, but sometimes we slip up, and it happens.

Last thing, again speaking mainly for myself, girls(this one, at least) have a very hard time "summing-up" or explaining anything in a small amount of words. Thus, we tend to be confusing/boring/ "wait, what? you were still talking... oh...." There are few things I appreciate more than for another individual (again, guy or girl) to actually take the time and consideration to everything that I said and give me input. Few things hurt more than to find out they really weren't listening or just pretended to be interested.

On the that note, guys stop being sarcastic. It's not appealing. Girls are hurt many times by unknowing males simply because they were sarcastic in conversation. Don't treat your girl friends like your guy friends. They deserve a much higher level of treatment. There is a place and time for sarcasm, but use it minimally. Trust me on this.

Well mon amies, that about sums it up. I have a feeling the "Some {Important} Things Girls Should Know About Guys" is going to be much shorter. ;) If any of you gentlemen read through this, it must be because you either like my blog way too much, or you're actually interested in being a better man when it comes to interacting with us conniving women. x]
Remember, the more you are actively involved in a woman's life, the more it requires you to love and respect her. And she then will respect you, because you respected her first.

For you,

Aliens....Way Overboard

I seriously don’t think you can go through life without hearing something said about aliens....about a million times. TV and magazines—past and present—are plastered with movies and articles by thousands of people exploring aliens’ existence and theories containing just where and how we can find them.

Frankly, it’s quite ridiculous. Who really cares if they exist or not? We humans have enough problems on our hands that need to be addressed let alone wasting brain power and money trying to find “other life.” Scientists and small-town joes alike who spend their entire lives searching and contemplating if other life forms are “out there” really in the truest sense are missing the big picture.

Wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes, hurricanes, poverty, epidemics, Obama, recessions and depressions, car bombings, starvation, overzealous politicians, and heck, even small-town controversies are far more important than discovering some ice on a distant star or planet as evidence that we aren’t *gasp* alone. We need to start focusing on the here and now, and not if’s and could be’s of something else being out “there”.

Our media selections contain countless “encounters with the third kind” and even more books, papers, articles talking and discussing their existence it's enough to make you go crazy. No thanks to popular TV shows and movie series, the media’s probably convinced almost all Americans—and perhaps the world—that there is a possibility we aren’t alone.

Yep, we’re not. We have each other, and most times we can’t even get along. Heck, we’ve been around for how long and STILL can’t get a grip on peace?! Oy vey.

So how could an alien encounter help us any? News flash, it wouldn’t.

Personally, if everyone is so convinced they exist, why haven’t they come around earlier? Apparently, most people believe we’ve been around for millions of years, so wouldn’t in that past we at least once “see” the so called creatures from outer space? Hmmm, guess not.

For the record, it's not being snobbish or unfair if we say we just might be the only ones, it's completely practical.

Let’s get real, people. Forget the “might be out there” aliens and let’s tackle some close-to-home issues like jump starting our economies or getting our politicians to represent us correctly or feeding starving babies and leave those so-called green men to themselves.

For you,




P. S. Men in Black is the lamest, stupidest, more disgustingly cliche movie ever.
That's sorta...kinda...what sparked this. xD

Shopping, Cinnamon Vanilla Chais, Crickets, and Sweaters

 Okay, it's official. Lizzie is a shopaholic.  *sighs* I never thought I'd actually admit it, let alone on my own blog, but it's about time I finally admitted it. And I know exactly what to blame. Well, besides my brain which is determined to make me go bankrupt over the next pair of shoes, I hereby blame it on my little plastic magic  named Master Card.

Innocence lost.

Ever think about just how easy it is to spend money with a card and not actually realize what's going on when you hand "Lois" the cashier with too much eyeliner you're plastic cash card? *waves hand* That would be me. It's really easy to just think, "Oh, heck, it's only $20...$30....$50...$2.5 million for this pair of shoes, I'm good." HA! No way in Haiti does that mean you're safe from spending too much. By belittling your spending, you justify your guilty conscience of the unnecessary purchase, thus plunging yourself into deeper realms of "I'm good" reasoning...then leading you to a place which is called the "D" word...the place every shopaholic finds herself if she isn't dragged out of her dark money hole and flashed a torchlight in her face first.

Two Ways to Cut Back on Spending: 
1) Don't spend obliviously. Unless it's food, gas, etc, don't buy it. If you have to, budget & saveeeeeee.
And 2) KEEP TRACK OF YOUR ACCOUNTS!
I know, I know, it sounds like a no-brainer, but heh....if you spend alot, you gotta track it like a wolf tracks a bleeding rabbit at the dead of night in the middle of the winter. I am that serious. And mostly, I'm talking to myself, haha. Let's just say I've had a near encounter on a cliff ledge of the "D" word and vow never to go cliff diving off into it ever, ever, ever again.

So! Cinnamon Vanilla Chai's, anyone? All this budgeting talk is making me sick....I'm a tragic shopping heroine in need of refreshment. If you'd like to join me, here's my secret recipe...but remember, "Mum's the word," lovies. *winks*

Mmmm, froth is the best, yo.

Lizzie's Fantabulous ICED Cinnamon Vanilla Chai Recipe:
Mum's the word, remember comrades.
Mix together the following: iced chai tea, (Yogi is good), a dash of cinnamon, a teaspoon or two or vanilla, some ice cubes, and coconut milk, (not cream of coconut, it's disgusting if you do), and sugar (as needed). Bon appetite, mon amies! See, isn't it lovely? Gosh, I could drink it all day if I could, and it's probably less than US-$2  a serving! Bravah! (: If you don't like mine, you can be snubbish and mean and try this chaiiiii. ;) jk

EVIL in bug-form

Okay so, seriously? If there's one thing I'd mark on my "Comments & Suggestions" card when I get to Heaven, it'll be, "WHY WHY WHY did You, dear Lord, create crickets?!?!" Grrr. I don't hold it against anyone, but seriously? Man alive, I hate those things. They are bad enough outside, but when they creep into the corners of one's basement flat and chirp the snot out of you, it's time to declare war. So far, this fall, it's been 21ish, Lizzie, Crickets, 0. *grins* But seriously, gosh I hate them crickets with avengance! (however you spell that blasted word.) I mean, the whole chirp-chirp thing is getting OLD. Crickets should try online dating services and leave the rest of us to sleep IN PEACE. I'd even offer to manage their accounts if they would just shut up! Haha! I'm getting pretty good at tracking and assassinating the little buggers, but I suppose that's not much a talent, aye? Hahaha. Pssshh, crickets. *sighs* I just wish they'd go away and NOT come back some other day.


Last, but certainly not least, I'm happy to report this year's fall fashions for sweaters is looking bright. Old Navy is featuring countless cardigans, sweaters, and vest with poppish tones meaning to please many a busy woman, Rue 21 is featuring large-print sweater coats in bold patterns, AEO is featuring the same lame kind of sweaters they've been selling since the 80s, Maurices is into purple and blue this year, Aeropostale...no comment, Dress Barn is displaying sweater jackets in orange and 'kelly' blue, Target's Mossimo (whatever the spelling) is going all out 70s here, Kohl's is featuring hot rocker chic Candy jackets, and Mr. Walmart....is well, really pushing his LEI puffy vests and plaid shirts...again. I think I'll stick to my new "baby"...a teal, tiny ribbed sweater V-neck from ON....just a heads up, girls, for some fall looks you don't want to miss.


Oh gosh, I did buy that sweater, didn't I? So much for reform... *throws up hands* -.-


Love always, Lizzie ♥

Dumster Bags, Petrified Roosters, My Music Slump, and Rubix Cubes

Just throw it in the Bag...

You have to hand it the eco-friendly people, they are pretty creative. Finding ways to use less or re-use, or use up what you have to me seems like it would be tricky, but worth it. Recently at Lowe's I noticed a new eco-item for construction projects. Dumpster bags! You just fill the green (of course) large recyclable Bagster© by Waster Management with your construction leftovers and the company comes and takes it away for a reasonable collection fee (compared to the price of renting and using a regular dumpster). It's made out of canvas that's completely reusable and is large enough to accommodate a small dumpster size's worth of trash, or around 3,300 lbs of debris.You can fill it concrete, or landscaping scraps, or whatever other construction type of trash you'd wish to throw away. Talk about cool :] The two only problems I could find with this method of eco-trash removal is that the Bagster© is not waterproof and the collection fee in some rural areas can be up to $129. Other than that, I'd say it's a pretty nifty idea...

Ewwww.

Chickens. Blah. Don't get me wrong, I adore a chicken in the form of edible food, but not in "real life." I can take Gen Tso's Chicken, chicken strips, Arroz con Pollo, cold chicken salad. Just not, for the love of bagels, a real live Americana hen! I think it's the chicken doo, squawking, and yellow beady eyes that get to me. Urgh, those eyes! It's like they can SEE into my soul. Hideous things, but fascinating when around little kids. My parents' neighbors down the lane recently adopted two Ukrainian brothers, ages being about 3 and 5, and they stopped over on one hot afternoon as the family was out of a lark of walk. A hot one, but they are avid walkers! At the house my mother has a few mobile pens with various breeds of chickens. Young chicks, year-old roosters, mother hens and the top rooster, stray roosters, the Big Huge Ugly laying hens, and more. The little boys were extremely fascinated with the roosters--namely, gently tormenting them in a young child-like fashion. Alexsander, the younger one, immediately ran over to the young roosters pen squealing in delight about the chickens in a language I assume was Ukraine. He poked his little fingers through the pen and that near about did for the frisky rooster boys. POW- SQUAWK- FLOOF! The roosters exploded into a pile of feathers, running to the other side of the pen for their dear skinny-necked lives, screaming protests. They were more skiddish than a pair of little girls finding a snake! Quickly rebuked for scaring the chickens, Alexsander was swooshed back into his mother's arms, but he craned his neck to watch and laugh at the roosters, who were squealing their protests and fluffing their rusty feathers in annoyance. I stood a few feet away, grinning, as I watched the whole scene play out. I have an idea me and Alex are going to be real, real good friends.

Hilariously idiotic? Heck yes.

What is it with music these days? I wish we could all go back to the days where songs were complicated stories.  All these modern boppy tunes of repeated choruses with alotta bass seem to be geared toward teenage audiences that are assumed idiots with no musical taste whatsoever. Just whatever is catchy and fast, cool and fun sounding right? Who cares about the lyrics, the distasteful use of explicit words, and ridiculous beating background noise? Or worse, the trashy lives of the singers. Well, I'll admit it, pop songs, soft rock, techno, punk etc...I do enjoy it when I'm out driving with the sun shining and the world is moving fast. Heck, even the beat goes with the road bumps sometimes! But try listening to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, Timbaland's If We Ever Meet Again, or Mike Posner's Cooler than Me while trying to read a book...nearly impossible. But what's the solution? Beethoven?  Hymn songs? Folk lore strumming? Or worse, ethereal notes of New Age? No thanks. There just doesn't seem to be a neutral area. Either it's too plunky, too poppy, too rockish, too classical for my taste. I guess I shall dub this condition I have a ''Music Slump''.

WOWzers. DA-Huuuude. Geewilikers.

 4x4 Rubix Cube

I met this 12 year old kid at a neuro clinic today that could solve a 5x5 Rubix cube in less than 5 minutes. You could hear the rattling of the cube as he worked it with his slim agile fingers all the way across from the room, where his mother sat unfazed. She calmly explained to me that he could do a 3x3 Rubix in less than 30 seconds....I probably couldn't even solve one in 30 years. He showed me all his other ones that he had toted along in a reusable grocery bag (6x6, 5x5, 7x7, and a 9x9) and commented on who he hasn't quite figured out a 7x7 since he just got it yesterday for his birthday. The boy then carefully explained that the key is practice, but also a high quality Rubix that can shift easily, aiding in quick time to solve the cube. He looked like a nerdy genius and man, he sure could solve that cube fast! The things you learn while waiting in a reception lobby...




Sincerely Yours, Lizzie ♥

Crapple Pies, Bruises, and Paper Wasps

    Alright, I promised my friend Candi I'd blog about them...so here goes :) You know, McDonald's right? Heck who doesn't. Well, through careful observation, taste-testing, and studious thought, I think I'm finally ready to write to McDonald's and suggest a unique and wonderfully descriptive name for their so-called "apple pies". Call 'em Crapple Pies! LOL! Yeah? Oh c'mon, you know I'm right. It's a disgrace to even say they're pies at all. Have you ever compared those squared stamps molten hot with foreign objects in them thingys to the REAL thing? You'd probably get a taste score of negative -50. I do admit, I used to eat them alot...late night, pick up a small fry, a coke, and pie right? Wrong. No more. Nuh-uh. Not doing that anymore. Bleah, the last one I had was a partially burnt one in a remote Oregon town that I ate anyway because I was so starved. (It was like 10:30pm at night, you see.) It not only burnt my tongue into oblivion, but it also lost my appreciation for McD's tasty CRAPPLE pies. So, I abstain from them....unfortunately, I'm too much of a good person to actually go and do suggest the name Crapple Pies to the McDonald's Admissions Office (or whatever fancy name they call it) so just be satisified about laughing at it here.
Wait, why am I frequently mentioning McDonald's in my posts?! This is sick. I hate McDonalds. Oh heck, who doesn't.

Bruises. Funny, weird marks on your body that show up in the most annoying places with no memory usually of where they came from. Hunh. I'm pretty sure they've ended up on my Nature's Mysteries list by now. recently I walked into my mom's kitchen, looking for a snack to pass me off til she finished dinner, and all of a sudden she cried out, "Woah! What is THAT?" and pointed at my leg. Innocently, I looked down at the spot whilst she was pointing, and cried out, "Woah-h-h-h! What is that?" Strangest bruise mark I've ever seen. Usually when I get bruise its a small, darkish red spotch. This one was a perfectly and brilliantly blue SPOT. No kidding. I do not remember backing up into a metal pipe, or knocking a hammer smack-dab (cool term, eh?) on my leg so this was all very strange. I gingerly touched the area and WOOOOO man, it hurt. Normally bruises for me just have that achy sensation, never the big, honking neon sign saying "OUCH" type of pain, lol. After that little bit, I finished scrounging for my snack and basically forgot about it. Later, while I was on a camping trip with my friend Kate and her grandparents, I noticed it again.

A week had gone by and the bruise had now turned into a dark purple ring. Funny thing was that were was in the dead center of the bruise ring, a freckle! Katie and I laughed at the weirdness of it and then went body surfing in the river, at which I hit a huge sharp rock dead on my butt and have a large butt bruise from it. Anyway, on the ride homewards, a 5 hour drive, Gramma noticed me looking at the back of my leg and asked me what I was doing. I showed her the bruise and she said, "Oh my! Look at that mole in the middle of it! I think you better get that checked out." And went on for another 15 minutes or so talking about various nephews or nieces that had had cancer in different areas. Katie and I looked at each other and burst into silent laughter. The very thought of my little bruise and freckle being cancer drove us over the edge. We were sitting there laughing without making any noise, and I still laugh at remembering Gramma saying, "Look at that MOLE!" lol :) The bruise is gone now, and I still have a freckle....and yes, my butt still hurts too. But body surfing is SOOOOO worth it!!!

So...paper wasps. While taking a jolly ride around the yard in Karl, my sister's ex-car, I noticed a HUGE honking paper wasp nest in one of our planted cypress trees. I think maybe I'll go check it out tomorrow. JUST KIDDING. lol :) I know better than that, despite the rumors of me being blonde. There IS a difference between dumb and blonde, right? Right? lol :)




Sincerely, Lizzie ♥

Ticked off Models, Colored Eyebrows, and Starbursts

 Is it just me or am I the only one that has a terrified face when flipping through fashion magazines filled with strange outfits (that no one in their right mind would wear in public) worn by models with seething, ready-to-kill faces? Why the murderous looks, Vogue? Happy, fresh looking girls not an option anymore? Quelle scary.

Of course I’m not saying the cheesy grins of models from yesteryear are any better than the sultry, pouting ones of today’s fashion runways (As in RUN AWAY!). But seriously, it’s scary. I’d rather read a magazine showing models with happy faces…or contented faces…or ones that don’t look like they’ve walked through all hell and are trying to be so convincing as a drop dead (literally?) gorgeous model that they across as seriously ticked off about something, or in two seconds they’re going to jump you and kill you off with a pair of ridiculously spiky stilettos. Like I said, quelle scary.

   But despite my ardent aversion of said modeled faces, I did manage to find something scarier: colored eyebrows. No, I’m not kidding. Vogue has been featuring dazzling pictures of girls with hideous blue and orange eyebrows as a part of their fall 2010 fashion guide. What, do they want us all to look like aliens now? Sure, we all know it’s okay to have ice-blue eyebrows on the runway to match your ice-blue lipstick and stringy ice-blue dress (if you can call it that), but try walking around downtown DC with those babies and you’ll get the kind of attention that isn’t necessarily flattering.  I mean its one thing to shave your eyebrows off and pencil them on, or even tattoo them on *shudders*, or do it just for a Halloween gig, but to shave them off and paint them on blue as a part of your daily makeup? Now that’s where I draw the line. And so should those crazy fashion designers.

   Starbursts are a wonderful invention. They come in 5 flavors (well, the original kind do anyway), they are sweet, they are sticky, and most importantly, they are cheap. If you have a bag of Starbursts, magically everyone becomes your best friend; and it’s entertaining to pick out your fave flavor and chew them in sticky sweet bliss. However, wonderful as they are, Starbursts come with two problems. Problem-o number one is…they don’t go with anything. I mean, try to eat Starbursts with crackers…or Coke…or a sandwich…or popcorn, and you will find out fast that Starbursts suck with any other kind of edible food out there. I’m been eating Starbursts (well, not like all the time) for years, and I still haven’t found a food that “goes” with Starbursts, so I usually eat them alone…and man oh man it’s very tempting to eat the whole packet or bag, kinda like a bag of potato chips. That presents problem number two: they are really sugary. Sugar wrecks havoc in your mouth, and also in your brain. So, since Starbursts are practically all sugar, consuming a large quantity of them (especially if eaten alone) leaves you with cavities and headaches. Nice. Who would have thought such an adorable thing as a paper wrapped, brightly colored piece of Strawberry candy could be so evil? :)

Sincerely Yours, Lizzie ♥

P.S. I tried adding a new Reaction Label (besides the weird, funny, interesting ones) called "Yeah, that's definitely Lizzie." but it wouldn't let me. Hmph.

My Moon Chair Must Have a Magnet, My Brain Must Have a Leak

My feet tingled, alerting me I had been sitting too long. It was the evening before D-Day, Destination Day. The next morning I would leave early to fly Westward and be gone for two whole weeks, folicly in vacational bliss.

My tummy suddenly growled. My mind began to wonder about various snack arrangements as I lay sprawled on my moon chair. I had eaten all the ice cream cones (without the ice cream, of course). My beloved gummies were safely packed in my luggage that threaten to burst at any given time. The candy stash had been pocketed by my sister, never to return. The stairs leading to the kitchen seemed a lifetime away as I lazily considered possible eating choices from my round, fluffy chair. Hunger was calling my stomach, yet I stayed as my brain began to mess with my eyes—obviously blinded by the hunger my stomach was announcing.

My ceiling transformed into strands of Twizzlers. My carpet became a sea of gummies, the red heart kind too, my uber favorite. Soon all my furniture was turning into my most-craved snack foods and I laid there amusedly, as I imagined my bed being cinnamon toast with marshmallow pillows. Clocks became pizzas, lamps became exotic popsicles, collectibles became Chinese donuts or roasted coconuts, dresser drawers turned into whole sheets of Belgium chocolate laced with Mandarin oranges, (which, by the way, is so good it’s to die for).

I rustled in my moon chair and surveyed my tasty surroundings. Like any good writer would, I reached over on my shelf and grabbed a notebook (which had miraculously remained inedible) and instead of ceasing my cravings for all things delectable, wrote down my happenings as inspiration had finally hit me. After all, everyone knows that the pen (when written in earnest) is always before the pizza, if you ever want anything published, even if it's from a moon chair.

I think I’ll go get a snack now. ^_^

P.S. Although on second thought-- if you have a freshly delivered pizza, eat that first, write later. Cold pizza sucks. What also sucks is I can’t even eat pizza anyway. Grrr.

Sincerely, Lizzie ♥

10 of the World's Stupidest Phrases

When I work on Polyvore.com, a online collage-making site, I come across a lot of phrases and quotes, that are either really good, corny, or just plain stupid. I thought I'd share the stupid ones.... (:

10. You think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not.
Pure genius, Einstein...

9. I've learned that even though it's greener on the other side, it's still green here.
Oh, wow this has got to be the world's biggest understatement of the year!!

8. Someday, we'll know, if love can move a mountain.
I can tell ya right now it won't. It's actually faith. Big diff.

7. When I say I'm fine, look me in the eyes and say, "Tell the truth."
Then why do you say you're fine in the first place?!?!

6. Love is all you need.
No, last time I checked a meal, some sleep, and a restroom were.

5. Love is like a virus that spreads and affects people.
Wrong mental image, here!

4. She says she's no good with words, but I'm worse.
And the point of this is....?

3. Everyday people ask if we're a couple, and you don't realize how painful it is to say we're just friends.
Deal with it honey.

2. I loathe love and love lust.
C'mon, seriously? Like that's going to get you a girl, moron.

1. "Painting all my dreams the color of your smile."
Let's hope their teeth are white!


Don't get me wrong, they are nice phrases. Extremely sentimental and sappy, but nice. Personally I'm all for these kinds of phrases:

Enjoy your day :)