Crapple Pies, Bruises, and Paper Wasps

    Alright, I promised my friend Candi I'd blog about them...so here goes :) You know, McDonald's right? Heck who doesn't. Well, through careful observation, taste-testing, and studious thought, I think I'm finally ready to write to McDonald's and suggest a unique and wonderfully descriptive name for their so-called "apple pies". Call 'em Crapple Pies! LOL! Yeah? Oh c'mon, you know I'm right. It's a disgrace to even say they're pies at all. Have you ever compared those squared stamps molten hot with foreign objects in them thingys to the REAL thing? You'd probably get a taste score of negative -50. I do admit, I used to eat them alot...late night, pick up a small fry, a coke, and pie right? Wrong. No more. Nuh-uh. Not doing that anymore. Bleah, the last one I had was a partially burnt one in a remote Oregon town that I ate anyway because I was so starved. (It was like 10:30pm at night, you see.) It not only burnt my tongue into oblivion, but it also lost my appreciation for McD's tasty CRAPPLE pies. So, I abstain from them....unfortunately, I'm too much of a good person to actually go and do suggest the name Crapple Pies to the McDonald's Admissions Office (or whatever fancy name they call it) so just be satisified about laughing at it here.
Wait, why am I frequently mentioning McDonald's in my posts?! This is sick. I hate McDonalds. Oh heck, who doesn't.

Bruises. Funny, weird marks on your body that show up in the most annoying places with no memory usually of where they came from. Hunh. I'm pretty sure they've ended up on my Nature's Mysteries list by now. recently I walked into my mom's kitchen, looking for a snack to pass me off til she finished dinner, and all of a sudden she cried out, "Woah! What is THAT?" and pointed at my leg. Innocently, I looked down at the spot whilst she was pointing, and cried out, "Woah-h-h-h! What is that?" Strangest bruise mark I've ever seen. Usually when I get bruise its a small, darkish red spotch. This one was a perfectly and brilliantly blue SPOT. No kidding. I do not remember backing up into a metal pipe, or knocking a hammer smack-dab (cool term, eh?) on my leg so this was all very strange. I gingerly touched the area and WOOOOO man, it hurt. Normally bruises for me just have that achy sensation, never the big, honking neon sign saying "OUCH" type of pain, lol. After that little bit, I finished scrounging for my snack and basically forgot about it. Later, while I was on a camping trip with my friend Kate and her grandparents, I noticed it again.

A week had gone by and the bruise had now turned into a dark purple ring. Funny thing was that were was in the dead center of the bruise ring, a freckle! Katie and I laughed at the weirdness of it and then went body surfing in the river, at which I hit a huge sharp rock dead on my butt and have a large butt bruise from it. Anyway, on the ride homewards, a 5 hour drive, Gramma noticed me looking at the back of my leg and asked me what I was doing. I showed her the bruise and she said, "Oh my! Look at that mole in the middle of it! I think you better get that checked out." And went on for another 15 minutes or so talking about various nephews or nieces that had had cancer in different areas. Katie and I looked at each other and burst into silent laughter. The very thought of my little bruise and freckle being cancer drove us over the edge. We were sitting there laughing without making any noise, and I still laugh at remembering Gramma saying, "Look at that MOLE!" lol :) The bruise is gone now, and I still have a freckle....and yes, my butt still hurts too. But body surfing is SOOOOO worth it!!!

So...paper wasps. While taking a jolly ride around the yard in Karl, my sister's ex-car, I noticed a HUGE honking paper wasp nest in one of our planted cypress trees. I think maybe I'll go check it out tomorrow. JUST KIDDING. lol :) I know better than that, despite the rumors of me being blonde. There IS a difference between dumb and blonde, right? Right? lol :)




Sincerely, Lizzie ♥